Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Open Letter

This is an open letter to someone who used to be one of my closest friends.

Dear "Anonymous":

I would just like to say thank you for continuing to want to be involved in my life after these last couple of years, even if you don't want me to know you're involved. It flatters me that, even though I was apparently a horrible friend to you, and you basically told me you didn't want anything to do with me anymore, that you still feel the need to keep up with my life.

And how's that working out for you? You remember when you told me that you felt that I wasn't moving forward, that I wasn't going anywhere? Still think that? Even though I just finished up an internship at a middle school, I just graduated college, I'm going to work for Disney and move out of the state, and I'm in a relationship with the same amazing guy I was with when you decided to end our friendship....do you still think that I'm not going anywhere? Just because I'm not living my life the way you are living yours, just because I'm doing things differently doesn't mean I'm not living my life to the fullest. I know what I want for me, and it's not the same things you want for yourself. And that's okay. That's how it's supposed to be. We are two different people.

A lot of things happened at the end of our friendship that you didn't let me explain, and I find that very unfair. So here's my side of the story. The reason why your family got involved was because they got themselves involved. Your sister called me that day. All the things that were said about your sister were things that she said to me. You know that I don't go around making stuff up.

However, I think you wanted to end our friendship for awhile, and since you could never be straight up about things, this was the best way you felt to end it. And I think that you thought it was okay. Well guess what? It wasn't, and it still isn't. You left a lot of pain, and I spent so much time trying to figure out what happened. But now I think I know. I think you wanted me to be like you, and when I wasn't, that irritated you. You couldn't control me, and you didn't like that. It ticked you off that I was independent and didn't feel the need to ask your approval of everything. And you know, maybe I'm wrong about all of that, but based on the things you said to me after the friendship ended, that's the only thing I can come up with. Either that, or you were jealous of me.

I hope you are having a great life. I really do. I've been doing great these last couple of years. I've finally figured out who my real friends are, and I've got so many opportunities opened up to me. I don't know why you're continuously reading my blogs; I don't know if you're jealous, just curious, or if you feel like you have to keep watch over me. If it's the latter, I don't need it. I don't need babysitting. I'm a big girl, and I'm perfectly capable of taking care of myself. If you're jealous, get over it and move on. And if you're just curious, that's fine. But at least make the effort to talk to me. Stop essentially stalking me. I really hate being stalked.

Do whatever you want to do with your life, and I hope you're happy.


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